You cannot imagine how relieved I was to find that the Dursleys were almost nice to Harry the last month of his stay. Hey, I mean being ignored completely is better than being almost abused. I didn’t think they were going to take him to the train either. I was pleasantly surprised by that fact. And the joke is on him for not having faith in platform nine and three quarters. Shame on you Mr. Dursley.

Of course there would be a complication with getting on the platform. It’s magical. Duh! I have to give props to Mr. Potter, running full tilt at a solid wall takes some guts. (Guts that I definitely do NOT have) Needless to say, I am glad that Harry’s small body is not pasted on the side of a brick wall at King’s cross section.

Again, I think that being scrutinized by everyone, just because you are the stuff of legend come to life before their eyes, would get a little old. But, at least he gets a train buddy out of it! (Plus, I know enough to gather that this will be a budding friendship!) Oh, and the Weasleys lived up to all of my lofty expectations about them. They are not only hilarious, but Gingers! Love them!

So, for me at least, that much sugar and a fast moving train would mean the window would open for me to puke out of it. Harry and Ron should all rights be sick! Of course, that may or may not be from Draco Malfoy’s visit. (Let the rivalry begin!) And of course, Hermione and all of her ridiculous genius enters the scene. I’m going to love her as much as she is going to irritate me.

And so the goal of Hogwarts has been achieved. Dude, I want to live in a castle. Like seriously. Maybe like this one.

This has been a chapter for beginnings! So many characters come onto the scene. (including the ever toad-losing Neville). Chapter 7 is next!

CV

Question for the comments: If you were Fred and George, what prank would you pull at Hogwarts?

My posts were necessarily delayed because of the holidays, but I am back with Chapter 5, Diagon Alley.

This is definitely a place I would want to visit. Sounds like you could find some equally creepy and awesome stuff in the back corners of these stores. But I think that people coming up to me from all sides saying they’ve waited their whole lives to meet me might freak me out just slightly.

So Gringotts is basically the worlds oldest, fastest, and most totally made of awesome wooden roller coaster ever. Period. The ride kind of reminded me somewhat of the the roller coaster ‘Thunder Mountain”. I haven’t been on it in years, but i think that’s what it’s like. But don’t be fooled…despite the fact that the first car is a train (As seen in the picture) It actually is a pretty intense ride. Plus, the fact that there’s just piles of gold waiting for you at the bottom of the awesome ride just clinches it in the ‘can I do this everyday?’ category. Now….what is in the very secretive vault 713?? Hmm…I’m guessing time will tell that one.

So robes, books, cauldron, and pretty white owl later we’re off to the wand shop. I wonder how much destruction occurs in that shop from people being incorrectly matched to wands….I wouldn’t want to be the janitor in that place. I’ll bet you the fact that Harry and Voldemort have similar wands will come into play later in the series won’t it Harry Potter people?

I don’t like the fact that Harry has to go back and live with the Dursleys for any extra length of time. But oh well, there’s nothing to do about that. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see how bad his punishment is. Until then!

CV

This post will be brief, because it is Christmas Eve! and I don’t want to take up a lot of your time.

Speaking of Hagrid, he showed up! Yay!

There’s not a terrible lot to say about this chapter I’m afraid, other than it was filled with the infodump of exposition that HP ignorant people like me need. Although there were a few things I will mention.

1. Hagrid’s coat. This coat is obviously made of awesome. It is an entire universe in and of itself, and probably has it’s own gravitational field. Plus it holds the ultimate cornucopia of everything that you might possibly need. Ever.

2. Hagrid’s Temper. I like him, he’s a ‘lets react now, and say sorry later’ kind of guy. I can be like that, so I definitely relate. (P.S. even if I had gotten expelled, I would have had a REALLY hard time NOT using magic anyway)

3. Aunt Petunia’s freak-out. Let it out girl, you know it had to come out sometime.

4. The Owl’s payment. Ok, so maybe this will be explained later, but when Hagrid told Harry to feed the owl, I thought that he would feed him one of the mice or something. What is an owl going to do with money? Or does that go to the newspaper? Confusion!

Oh, and kudos that Harry finally gets a decent meal from Hagrid, and that he gave Dudley a pig tail.

Alright, that’s all I can think of right now. I hope everyone has an absolutely fantastic Christmas Eve and Christmas day!
CV

So Harry’s in the cupboard. and he has to stay in there for a pretty long time I guess. So long that school was already out when he was allowed to escape from that dank prison? That’s ridiculous. Was he allowed to go to school? cause if I was his teacher I would ask questions if Dudley kept showing up to school and Harry didn’t. Weird.

I like the name of Dudley’s new school: Smeltings. The word smelting means to melt down metal, which led my mind’s eye to the image of Dudley melting in his own fat…which needless to say made me smile. Oh and the uniform….

Maroon Tailcoat: 40$

Orange Knickerbockers: 30$

Ridiculous straw hat and pretentious stick: 60$

The image of Dudley Dursely looking like Tweedle Dee and Dum from Alice in Wonderland? Priceless.

Oh, and by the way, for those of you who were wondering what Knickerbockers are, I looked it up. They’re those really ugly midget pants that have elastics right below the knees so that those who where them look like they are continually wading in some sort of pond.

The smell that greets Harry from Aunt Petunia dyeing his ‘new uniform’ makes me wonder what on earth she was dyeing the with. I’ve dyed stuff before and it really doesn’t smell bad. Hmmm….maybe we don’t want follow that line of thought too far. Also, for the record, I agree with Harry. If he did ever end up wearing those clothes, he would indeed look like he was wearing bits of old elephant skin.

Ok, so I’m pretty sure I know who the letter is from…but I’m not really sure. So I was just as angry as Harry about not getting to read it. And as soon as the Dursley’s that they might be in trouble they move Harry to a better room. I knew that if someone threatened them they would cave, and this wasn’t even a threat! at least for Now Harry has better sleeping quarters.

As I read this chapter, I was sitting in Wegman’s (Where I’m writing the post as well) and I was giggling out loud every time the letters kept coming back. (At Mr. Dursley’s expense of course.) Lesson learned, you don’t mess with magic dude. Just don’t do it. Even when they run away he thinks he confuse the people who know where Harry sleeps? hahaha. Nice one Mr. Dursley.

I’m very curious about who is at the door, though I have a suspicion. Guess I’ll have to wait for Thursday!

CV

Question for the Comments: Which is worse? Having to sleep in a tiny dark space infested with spiders? or in a crusty shack that could be taken out by a wave any second?

The Dursley’s house seems like it has turned into one of those houses where you walk in and almost vomit because the parents are so obsessed with their own children. The pictures, the ribbons, the cutest baby trophy; it just makes you sick. The comparison of Dudley to a large pink beach ball as a baby is awesome.

<——– My image of Dudley = PUFFBALL!

And poor Harry is stuck in the middle of this like a ghost. I feel bad for the poor kid. I got a little bit of a Cinderella vibe too when it was revealed that he lives in the closet under the stairs. (And can I just say that I could not handle that? It’s full of spiders, and I am deathly afraid of spiders.)

Ok, so he’s making breakfast. Not the worst job in the world for now, at least he gets to make sure his own food is good! Dudley, the Pig in a Wig by Harry’s own description, enters and begins to count his presents. Ok — Hold the phone. Who in the world would complain about getting 37 presents for their birthday? Hello! So the parents go out to buy to more just to beat last year’s total of 38? Oh. My. Gosh. If I could reach into the pages and smack this child I would! Ok. I’m breathing. I promise — Anyway, Dudley the marshmallow wonder opens his ridiculous extravagance including 16 video games. No wonder the kid is so fat! His brains have turned to mush dribbled into his stomach from staring at screens all day.

So, even though some weird things happen to Harry, (because of all of his dormant wizard awesomeness) I don’t really see why the Dursley’s are so completely opposed to taking him anywhere. It’s not like Harry is going to become a psychopath and go on a killing rampage in the middle of the zoo, he’s a ten year old for goodness sake! No matter, I’m glad Harry got to go to the zoo, and that he ended up with ice cream: from the truck and Dudley’s left-overs.

Snakes. I’m really not a big fan of snakes. They’re not as bad as spiders of course, but still not a big fan. Obviously the reptile house at the zoo is not a place where I would be spending a lot of time. However, it does kind of make sense that the brat bully and his little minion would like it in there. It makes me giggle that the snake knew the whole time, and purposely ignored Dudley. That makes me like him.

I read the passage where the glass disappeared several times because at first I thought the glass had broken. Then I realized that Harry had unintentionally made the glass disappear after he felt bad that the snake had never been to Brazil. Although, as a 10 year old he probably didn’t realize that there was no way for the snake to get to Brazil from England.

Not exactly a happy chapter ending with Harry sent away to his cupboard with no food. Where is Social Services we might ask? Oh well, I know it’s only a matter of time before things get better. And while I wait, I get the first glimpse of Harry’s past — a flash of green light. I guess I’ll jsut have to wait and see what else he can remember!

CV

Question for the comments: If you were in Harry’s situation, what would you have done to sabotage his birthday?

I have to say, in today’s society and all the hype around Harry Potter it has been impossible for me to not be spoilered. So I can almost guarantee you everything will not be a surprise, but in my expereince books are almost always better than movies and have a lot more depth and detail. It is that I’m looking forward to.

So Chapter 1.

The description of the Dursley’s is pretty comical, almost ridiculous. I had fun imagining how long of a neck you would have to have in order to peek over fences.  The Dursleys may pride themselves on being normal, but I must say they seem incredible boring. They’re the kind of people who’s lives I enjoy watching get turned upside down. So A cat reading a map is a welcome surprise, although that would probably shake me up  a bit too.

Ok, hello! What is wrong with Mr. Dursley? Why is he being so judgemental about the cloak thing? I like cloaks. I think they’re incredibly awesome, and I still want one. If I end up receiving a Snuggie for Christmas I might be awesome and pretend it’s a cloak. SO THERE Mr. Dursley! *Mutters ‘Judgemental fool* under her breath* Anyway, there are alot of people in cloaks, I’m cool with that. I already know they’re wizards, so checkmark off the list. What happens next?

I like the fact that Mr. Dursley yelled at five people in person and a couple more over the phone and this puts him in a good mood. I don’t think I would enjoy destroying that many people’s days. And drills? Seriously? I can appreciate a good drill, I love power tools. But how can you be so obsessed with drills that you son’t noticed hundreds of nocturnal owls swooping past your window in the middle of the day? Woah…talk about unobservant.

It’s strange to me the Mr. Dursley is SO worried after the mention of the Potters. Don’t they ignore them whenever possible? So what effect would anything the do have upon his family. Sure all the stuff from the whispers, to the owls, to the shooting stars (Which I still don’t get) is weird, but I don’t think that it should at all keep him from getting a good night’s sleep.

I knew there was something awesome about that cat. And on that note, Professor McGonagall is inherently awesome because she chose to shape-shift into a cat, which are the coolest animals ever. Sorry all you dog fans out there. She seems pretty up tight though…hmm. We’ll have to see about her.

It’s here that we hear the inciting incident. Although I already know who these characters are (And it helps because they’re not explained in this chapter), it still seems surprising that someone with so much power disappeared after attacking a baby who doesn’t even have control of his faculties. Oh well, I know I’ll find out more about that later. In the mean time we’re left with the classic baby-on-the-step chapter closure. Although I don’t envy Harry the step. Good luck with those people!

CV

My name is Charlee Vale. Writer, College Student, Blogger, and Harry Potter Newbie. That’s right…I have never read the Harry Potter book series.

My friends have been bugging me to, wanting to know what I think of them as a whole. So I am. But, rather than just read them and give them a vague and watered down answer of ‘It was good!’, or ‘I really liked it.’, I’m going to give you all everything, every little detail from my joys to my skepticisms on every single chapter.

I know. You must be thinking ‘She’s crazy! A chapter-by-chapter blog of seven books? She’ll die of old age first!’. I perfectly acknowledge the fact that it is going to take awhile. Bit for those of you have read the series, think of it as a way to enjoy it all over again, and those of you that haven’t, (few of you that there are) please read them with me!

So here I am, ready to embark on the adventure filled with creatures that I can only imagine! I am making it my goal to post at least two chapters a week, and more when I have time. Feel free to yell my way, give feedback, tell me your own opinions, whatever! This is just as much for your enjoyment as it is for mine.

Next post will be the first chapter of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone!

Thanks for reading!

CV

P.S. I owe the idea for this blog entirely to Kaleb Nation. Aka The Twilight Guy. Without him, this blog wouldn’t exist. AND, he’s pretty cool. You should check him out at www.kalebnation.com, www.twilightguy.com, and www.branhambric.com